Review: Dead Drunk

Dead Drunk by Paul Garrigan is a quick and captivating read. From his life growing up in Ireland to his transformative 10 days spent in Central Thailand’s Wat Thamkrabok—Garrigan offers an insightful and sincere look at alcoholism and the nature of addiction in general. Never making excuses for his destructive behavior, Garrigan writes with the addict in mind—showing them that it is possible to quit. But this memoir is interesting for the general reader as well to see how a Buddhist temple helped to ultimately end Garrigan’s addiction.

This memoir is told in a chronological way—beginning with Garrigan’s childhood and homelife. He relates how alcohol always had always held an attraction for him, especially as a socially awkward child. He continued to have this positive association with alcohol, observing how adults became more lively and fun when drinking, and this led to some early experimentation. When his parents got divorced he became a hardcore drinker and soon an alcoholic. There were many moments where Garrigan lets himself imagine a different past for himself where if he had gone down a different path, or some outside circumstances would have changed, he wouldn’t have become an alcoholic. But he always admits in the end he should not make excuses for himself and it was his own making.

Paul Garrigan was able to remain sober for over two years in his early twenties through AA. But in the end he decided that although he is grateful to AA for all their help, the program could not help him to fully quit his addiction. He reasons that with the AA program he is always thinking about alcohol—either consuming it or not consuming it. He decides that he would like to stop thinking about alcohol altogether—to end the suffering of his relationship with alcohol. But instead of ending the suffering, he stops going to AA and becomes an alcoholic again. He convinces himself that he should enjoy his life and his youth and be a hedonist.

He decides to travel and winds up to Thailand— still binging on alcohol. At this point he wants to quit and knows that his addiction is making a mess of his life. A highlight of the book is his time at Wat Rampoeng’s Northern Insight Meditation Center in Chiangmai. He completes the basic course there and is able to find some freedom from his addiction but once back in the world he easily gives in to temptation. It is only when he hits rock bottom that he takes quitting seriously. He is living with his Thai girlfriend in Central Thailand, drinking from morning until night, not able to digest food without severe abdominal pain, when he finds out about the detox program at Wat Thamkrabok.

Garrigan knows this is his last chance. On the way to the temple Garrigan is constantly worried that he will go on an alcoholic binge and not ever arrive. He even wants to have one last beer but his stomach pain from decades of alcohol abuse, does not let him. Wat Thamkrabok is not a meditation course, but a detox program involving a morning ritual of public vomiting. Besides this humbling ritual done for five days in a row and chores in the early morning, there is not much of a routine for the participants. But as Garrigan makes friends he starts to think about his life and hopes he can stay away from alcohol after his ten days here.

By the end of the book Garrigan has remained sober for over a year. He continues to maintain a website about mindfulness and addiction recovery in Thailand. His memoir highlights a significant program in Thailand that may not be well-known but can help many travelers to the country. This is an informative and interesting read for alcoholics or loved ones of alcoholics looking for alternative methods of recovery, or Thailand enthusiasts interested in finding out all of the many ways Thai Buddhism is being used and applied to help modern lives.

Read Full Post »

Review: The Novice: Why I Became a Buddhist Monk, Why I Quit, and What I Learned

Stephen Schettini has written another Buddhist memoir, The Novice, to add to my list of Westerners writing in this sub-genre. This book carries some of the main themes I have already noted in my extensive reading of Western Buddhist memoirs (see post). His book reveals themes that are consistent with other Western monastic tales. He is disenchanted with Christianity and finds it does not answer his questions. Because of this, he travels to India and encounters Tibetan Buddhism. Back in Europe, he finds a Tibetan monastic community and ordains. In the end he realizes that he put the religion of Buddhism on a pedestal and that it could not live up to his ideal. As he is realizing this he writes “So Buddhism wouldn’t answer my every question. It couldn’t even pose them all” (240). Below I will detail these themes in more detail.

This is a more traditional memoir, which is structured chronologically, as the reader learns in detail about the author’s early life and travels before becoming a Tibetan Buddhist monk in Switzerland. He first travels from England and eventually to Dharamsala where the Buddhist part of this memoir really begins. In India he also finds his way to Mt. Kopan and the retreat center of the famous Lama Yeshe.

After this initial contact, Schettini must return home due to lack of travel funds. But he soon finds a growing community of Western Tibetan monks in Switzerland under Geshe Rabten. Through a stroke of good luck or karma, he is able to find a sponsor so he can undertake this endeavor. This part reads like a who’s who of early Western Buddhism as Schettini’s colleagues in this early Western monk community are Steven Batchelor and Alan Wallace.

But like many of the memoirs I have investigated this one also expresses doubt in the tradition as well as concern about the cultural exchange between Eastern teachers with Western students. He writes “Western Buddhism would sooner or later have to develop its own feet, and it was beginning to look like the sooner the better” (305), in reaction to the lay and monastic community that he believes are too excited by the exoticism of the guru and tradition that they cannot use their own critical judgment. He finds that trying to think for oneself makes one a persona non grata. He also realizes that language and culture are a barrier to understanding Buddhism through his Tibetan teachers. Schettini writes “I’d already seen that we should dig into our own culture for a vernacular to express the purpose of Buddhism. Now I realized that we’d have to explain our own truths . . . We were climbing the distant mountain of Tibetan language only to gaze back, fascinated, at our own valley” (240).

Schettini tests his growing doubt further by next delving into Tibetan culture by staying at Sera monastery in the south of India. Here he finds the debate and rote memorization an affront to critical thinking, although his Tibetan does improve, as he had hoped. A highlight of this second trip to India is his meeting with the Dalai Lama and running into now well-known professor Robert Thurman. But back in Switzerland with Geshe Rabten it is inevitable that he will disrobe. He writes of himself throughout these monastic experiences as too questioning of the tradition and the hierarchical structure and this is even more apparent in contrast to the new Western monks he encounters who are uncritically devoted to their teacher.

The end of the book leaves one unsatisfied with Schettini’s journey. He was looking to find answers in Buddhism but found he could not find them in the religious structure he had ordained into. But he doesn’t find the answer anywhere else either—he is left in a similar situation as he was before he found Buddhism and meditation. He is still confused about life and relationships, although of course, has gained helpful tools through meditation practice and study of Buddhism. Only in the epilogue does the reader get a sense that he has learned how to be happy, and he does this through becoming part of a family and writing this book, The Novice.

 

Read Full Post »

Buddhist Memoir in Thailand: A Lay Foreign Woman’s Experience

Jane Hamilton-Merritt’s A Meditator’s Diary: A Western Woman’s Unique Experiences in Thailand Monasteries, published in 1976, was the first memoir I know of to discuss a lay foreigner’s experience of learning meditation in Thailand. In the book she discusses in detail her meditation experiences and her challenges in finding instructions and opportunities to practice in the mid-1970s.

In the memoir she records how she first attends the meditation classes and group sittings at Wat Bowonniwet in Bangkok. At this time she also takes Buddhism classes with a scholar at Wat Sraket, also in Bangkok. Through her connections at these two places she learns of Ajahn Tong in Chiangmai. His temple, Wat Muang Mang, has a lay meditation center which is willing to host international female visitors. Besides this basic framework of her experiences, she also goes into detail about her experiences in meditation and the instruction she receives from her teachers at these two different wats. As well, the reader learns the impressions of the Thai Buddhist tradition from an interested Buddhist traveler in this early time period.

The narrator went into this experience without knowing about practicing meditation or living in a wat. She had known some people who had practiced who had been successful and some not but no one told her what happens when you meditate. They discussed it in general terms only, how it can be peaceful and tranquil and one can get a better understanding of one’s self. She soon finds out why this is the case as she writes:

“I believe that the reason that there are so few meaningful experiential books on meditation is that the world of meditation almost defies written description since it takes on into worlds beyond . . . worlds without time, space, or form. And how does one, using the English language, describe a world for which this language is inadequate? I have found that trying accurately to describe the world of meditation has been my most difficult writing assignment” (21).

At Wat Muang Mang, Hamilton-Merritt is unsure of the daily routine of the wat at first. Food is brought to her room and she laments that she doesn’t know what to do with the bowl or remaining food. She soon finds the other laywomen and mae chiis washing their bowls and follows them in their sweeping after the meal. It takes her a while before she feels comfortable in the wat, usually being filled with anxiety if she is doing the right actions and uncertainty of the upcoming schedule. But soon her questions are resolved through observation and she begins to explore the area more. Today this anxiety of foreigners who do not know how to behave in wats is eliminated through an orientation and introduction with an assistant to the teacher. Most international meditation centers have a small period of time upon arrival where the daily schedule and basic teachings are explained.  But as Hamilton-Merritt was one of the first foreign meditators to go through this program, it was not all clearly laid out for her.

Sprinkled throughout the book are lessons for the reader about Buddhism. Jane Hamilton-Merritt describes the tradition from quite a modern Buddhist perspective. She emphasizes that one should try to understand the truths of the Buddha’s teachings oneself, through experience, without the need of faith, and how this is different from other religions.

“The Buddha did not demand from his followers a blind faith in his teachings. Instead, he taught that everyone must explore these teachings for him or her self so that the individual might come personally to see and to know the truth . . . How different is this Buddhist idea from those religions that decree that faith alone with bring understanding!” (24).

She also states that the Buddha was a man, not a god, and how this makes one dependent on and responsible for oneself. The Buddha is not a god that will punish someone, nor does he answer prayers. This is what Jane Hamilton-Merritt wants to show to Westerners—how Buddhism is different from the more familiar theistic traditions. She says that Buddhism is a path to follow, and the Buddha was a great teacher, but a person nonetheless. She feels freedom knowing this—knowing that she is not being judged by a god-figure.

She continues to stress the uniqueness of this religion and how for Buddhists, the Buddha is not a god. Because of this Hamilton-Merritt finds that Buddhists are tolerant of other religions. She is surprised at first, though, at how calmly Thai Buddhists accept other religions. But she decides this is because there is no threat to Thais from a Jesus or Mohammed because for them there is no God. They can think of gods and prophets of other religions as great men with wisdom and good kamma.

Within this book there is also the tendency toward exoticizing the temple grounds and the monastics that occupy it. The natural rhythms of the daily routine of temple life are dramatized for an English-speaking audience. About Wat Bowonniwet in Bangkok she writes poetically: “An evening breeze brushed the temple bells, which hung from the roof gables, producing a symphony of fragile tinkles. Delicate yet omnipresent, the sound of the temple chimes brought back the serenity that I always experienced on visits to wats” (28-29). Here the temple is associated with calmness and tranquility with the peaceful sound of bells and breezes. It is the natural setting and space of the wat which create this feeling for the author.

Jane Hamilton-Merritt receives the same kind of feeling from inside the temple halls, especially when seeing a Buddha statue. “The candles sputtered dramatically in the man-made breeze sending erratic tongues of light over the silent monks and the image of a sitting Buddha atop the altar. No matter where the flickering light fell on the image’s face— whether the eyes, nose, or mouth, there was a sense of restfulness or tranquility or was it peace? (35)” It is clear that the whole experience of sitting in the meditation hall of this Thai temple with monks and Buddha statues is a spiritual experience for the narrator.

She describes Wat Sraket in similar tones but this time not only associating the temple with peace, but also with the ancient past. “Each time I ascended the steps to the large sprawling hall in the Wat Sraket compound . . . I felt a tingle. It seemed as though when I entered this hall, shoeless and humble, I was walking into the past . . . A wat always seemed to be a haven from the world, no matter where it was located” (51). In this quote, for the narrator, the world is associated with complicated modernity but the wat compound embodies a simple past where one can escape this.

Jane Hamilton-Merritt also describes monks and nuns by comparing them to Buddha statues. However, it is only the Thai monks and nuns that look this way, as she finds the Western monks appear less sared. She writes: “Oriental monk must be meditating . . . Incredible how much his eyes look like the half-open eyes of Buddha statues” (30); and upon meeting a Mae Chii of Wat Sraket she finds that her greeting was accompanied by a smile that I’ve seen etched on the face of many Buddha statues” (53). Finally when describing the Abbot of Wat Bowonniwet in meditation she states: “The saffron-robed Abbot sat Buddha-like before the altar. In the candlelight, his brown skin and saffron robe seemed to merge and crystallize, transforming him into a gilt and bronze statue” (62). But in reference to Western monks’ appearances she writes, “Farang monks look strange. Noses too big, skin too light, bodies too hairy” (30). So for the author there is a clear distinction between the Thai monastics and Western ones. She finds the Thai monastics fit her ideal of how meditators should look, however the Western monks’ features do not fit this ideal.

Thus in Hamilton-Merritt’s description of Buddhism and in her depiction of temple grounds and monastics there are two strains of modern Buddhist tendencies present. In her portrayal of Buddhism she finds a rational, experience-based tradition in contrast to theistic, faith-based religions. But in her illustrations of temple settings and Thai monastics she finds simplicity, spirituality, tranquility and an escape from modern living.

But after living in Wat Muang Mang in Chiangmai for a few weeks, the exoticizing of the temple, the monastics and spiritual experiences of the natural settings of the temple grounds begin to fade away. While discussing her meditation experiences, Jane Hamilton-Merritt is surprised that: “All this and more had happened in a small pea-green room. There were no altars aglow with candles, no incense exotically perfuming the air, no monk sitting before me to encourage meditation. I sat alone, alone with myself exploring worlds and sensations previously unknown to me” (118). Thus she finds that she doesn’t need this ideal of bells, candles, and Buddha-like monks to propel her meditation experiences.

This memoir is an important record of foreign meditators’ experiences during the emergence of this phenomenon. And it is also a product of its time with references to Buddhism in its modern forms and the tendency to exoticize Thai Buddhism, its temples and people. Jane Hamilton-Merritt thus describes the possibilities open to foreign women interested in meditation and also her thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

Read Full Post »

Forest Life Stories: Moments of Realization

Life stories, both autobiographical and biographical, are an important part of the forest lineage of Ajahn Mun. This began with the popularity of Luangda Mahabua’s biography of his teacher, Ajahn Mun, and later his biography of another student of Ajahn Mun, Ajahn Kao. Recently, Ajahn Dick Silaratano has written a creative, narrative biography of a student of Luangda Mahabua, Mae Chee Kaew. I will use these three biographies as well as Ajahn Chah and Ajahn Mahabua’s dhamma talks that recount their meditation practice to understand how the forest tradition describes moments of realization. It is difficult to put into words the experiences of one who has achieved the final goal of liberation, so it is interesting to see how this is recounted in life stories. Through these illustrations, forest master life stories inspire faith in the Buddhist path and relate that even in the modern period, through much effort, one can reach this goal of the Buddhist tradition.

These biographies and autobiographies also reenact a crucial scene from the life story of the Buddha. As is related in many of the accounts of the Buddha’s life, after his Enlightenment, he found it difficult to see the point in teaching his findings to others. Until he saw some of his former colleagues in meditation practice who were close to the same achievement did he feel that his experiences could be taught. The same is true with many of these forest masters after they achieve liberation. They wonder how they can possibly convey these amazing experiences and how they got there to others, but quickly realize that some people are able to learn and through their compassion decide in the end to teach others.

Mae Chii Kaew

Toward the end of Mae Chee Kaew’s biography, Ajahn Dick relates how, after much diligent practice following the advice of Luangda Mahabua, Mae Chee Kaew, was left with one lingering attachment to the self through the experience of her ‘radiant mind.’ This state of luminosity she experienced seemed like nibbana but when discussing this with Ajahn Mahabua he informed her this was not nibbana but one final clinging to let go of. After this meeting, Mae Chii Kaew worked ceaselessly to rid herself of this final view of self. She found that the radiant mind actually had a dull quality and was filled with dissatisfaction and uncertainty. After this Ajahn Dick describes her moment of realization:

“Then, aware but knowing nothing in particular, suspended in emptiness, the crystal-clear radiance of mind she had treasured for so long suddenly turned and dissolved—revealing a pure, all-knowing presence that filled the heart and pervaded the entire universe. The knower was everywhere, but nothing was known. Without characteristics and without source, emanating from no point in particular, knowing was simply a spontaneous happening of cosmic expanse. The radiant awareness had dissolved in an instant, leaving only purity of mind and the essential freedom of pure Dhamma—an absolutely unconditioned knowing that entirely transcended all forms of human conception.” (200).

Mae Chii Kaew’s moment of realization is thus couched within the defeating of this last inkling of self, this ‘radiant mind’ that she had cultivated. When this dissolved she was left with the pure mind or ‘citta,’ that is much emphasized in the forest tradition. Therefore this description of realization is also placed within this context of the forest lineage of Ajahn Man. It is illustrated as a stripping away of the defilements that cloud the mind and Mae Chii Kaew is left with the pure mind, and an empty knowingness.

After this moment of awakening, and even though she had always been a compassionate person she wondered: “How could she possibly explain the true nature of that Dhamma to others? Even if she tried, ordinary people, steeped in delusion, could never hope to comprehend such extraordinary purity of mind. She was unlikely to find enough receptive ears to make teaching worthwhile” (205).

But then the change of mind occurs after further reflection on the Lord Buddha and his abilities as a teacher. “Reconsidering the transcendent Dhamma and the path she took to uncover it, she finally recognized herself in everyone else: she too was a person like them. Certainly others with strong spiritual tendencies were equally as capable as she was. Reverently reviewing all aspects of the Buddha’s teaching, she saw its relevance for people the world over, and its potential rewards for those who were willing to practice correctly. Those insights gave her a renewed desire to help every living being that was willing to listen” (206). Thus like the Buddha, Mae Chii Kaew realized that she was not so different from others and that there were some who were close to the same achievement and just needed more guidance. This gave her the impetus to teach.

Luangda Mahabua

Luangda Mahabua recounts his own moment of realization in one of the dhamma talks in his book Arahattamagga Arahattaphala. In the talk titled “Shedding Tears in Amazement with Dhamma,” Mahabua recounts his final achievement during one meditation practice.

“No one sat in judgment at that decisive moment. That natural principle arose on its own and passed its own judgement. The universe then collapsed on its own. Originating from a neutral state of the citta, the happening took place all so suddenly: in an instant the entire cosmos seemed to flip over and disappear. It was so brilliant! Oh my! Really and truly magnificent! Too extraordinary to be captured in words. Such the amazing nature of the Dhamma that I now teach. Tears flowed when I experienced it” (74).

Here again the purified citta is emphasized as the result of the experience. But with Ajahn Mahabua there is more of a description of the metaphysical experiences such as the cosmos collapsing and later he describes the world as completely vanishing. He relates the emotion of the experience, such that it is difficult to convey it in this dhamma talk.

Like Mae Chii Kaew he has reservations about teaching this supreme dhamma to others. He writes “How will I ever be able to teach people this Dhamma? What is the point of teaching? Since true Dhamma is like this, how can it possibly be presented so that others will be able to know and understand it?” (78). But then he ponders further about his own realization and how it was the same path of the Lord Buddha, and admitted that the same path could help others we well. He writes of his change of mind: “Maybe there were only a few, but there definitely were some who could make it. I could not deny that. The awareness that it would benefit at least some people encouraged me to begin teaching those who were worthy to be taught” (80). So again like the Buddha, Ajahn Mahabua, immediately after his achievement felt that no one else could understand the teacher. But then upon further reflection, he realized that there were some people who would be able to learn and so decided in the end, to teach.

Ajahn Chah

A similar story of Ajahn Chah’s moment of realization is recounted in dhamma talks within A Still Forest Pool and An Unshakeable Peace. In these talks, Ajahn Chah describes himself during walking meditation one day when something different happened. He was able to see the separation of mind and its object, and with this connection broken, there was peace. When he stopped formal meditation on this day, only the sitting stopped but mindful tranquility remained. Because of this he felt his mind turn inward with extreme awareness. He observed this awareness and then turned to his normal state of mind again. After this, his mind turned inward a second time and he could feel his body break into fine pieces and then his mind once again returned to normal. The third and final time his mind turned inward, the whole world broke apart with nothing left. The mind stayed inward and abided as long as it could. When the mind finally emerged. In the next section Chah illustrates the after effects of this moment as he describes that after this moment, one’s whole world has turned upside down, one’s understanding of reality is different, people appear different, everything changes, thoughts are transmuted so one thinks and speak differently than others, and one is no longer the same as other human beings.

This moment of realization does not use the citta as much to describe the experience. Instead he illustrates three moments of awareness where he systematically released himself from his body and then the world. After this he feels different from other human beings and not able to relate to them in the same way anymore. The removing of the defiled mind here could be described as these moments of the body being broken apart- leaving him with the pure state of mind, similarly to the description of Mae Chii Kaew and Ajahn Mahabua. Because this moment comes from an excerpt of a translated dhamma talk, and not a full biography, there is no mention of Ajahn Chah’s feelings of teaching after liberation. Thus we do not know if he had similar reservations as the others but he certainly did end up teaching many disciples.

Ajahn Mun

Ajahn Mahabua recounts what he remembers of Ajahn Mun’s account of the moment of his realization.

“Seated in meditation late that night, the crucial moment had arrived. The battle lines were drawn: supreme-mindfulness and supreme-wisdom – the razor sharp weapons – against avijjã [ignorance], an enemy especially adroit at repulsing their advances then counterattacking, leaving its opponents in total disarray. Since time immemorial no one has dared to challenge its might, allowing avijjã to reign supreme and unopposed over the ‘kingdom of birth and death’ inside the hearts of all living beings. But at three a.m. that night when Ãcariya Mun launched his final, all out assault, the result was the total destruction of the king’s mighty throne and the complete overthrow of his reign in the kingdom of birth and death. Suddenly impotent and deprived of room to maneuver, the king could not maintain his sovereignty. At that moment avijjã perished, victim to a lightning strike of magnificent brilliance. Ãcariya Mun described how that fateful moment was accompanied by a tremor that appeared to shake the entire universe. Celestial beings throughout this vast expanse immediately paid tribute to his supreme accomplishment, roaring an exclamation of approval that reverberated across the sentient universe, and proclaimed the appearance of another disciple of the Tathãgata in the world” (156).

Here as in Ajahn Mahabua’s account there is a resonance with the outside world at the moment of realization so that the universe shakes and reverberates as celestial beings pay respect to this achievement. The actual realization is described as a battle against ignorance which Ajahn Mun wins, crushing the opponent and reigning as the king of his body and mind.

He too has reservations about being able to teach people what he had learned and has thoughts of living in solitude for the rest of his years. But then he realizes the potential of human beings that the Buddha saw. “Eventually, his thoughts gathered on the Lord Buddha’s guiding role in revealing the correct path of practice. Reviewing his attainment of Dhamma and the path he took, he saw that he, too, was a human being in the world just like everyone else, and undistinguished from others by any special characteristic that would make him the only person capable of understanding this Dhamma. Certainly, others with strong spiritual tendencies were capable of this understanding. By failing to broaden his perspective, his initial outlook had tended to disparage the spiritual tendencies of his fellow human beings – which was unfair” (158).

Ajahn Khao

Ajahn Mahabua recounts what he remembers from another account of realization, this time from another disciple of Ajahn Mun, Ajahn Kao. While walking on almsround Ajahn Kao describes how he was overcome with metta for the villagers in the forest where he was wandering. While eating his food he recalls: “Since the day I was born this was the first time that I had ever experienced the body and mind in perfect harmony with the citta, which is something quite impossible to explain. All I can say is that it was a most wonderful and unique experience that became the most outstanding event of my life, leaving a deep and lasting impression on my heart. After this world-shaking event occurred, when the sky and ground collapsed and the ‘wheel of samsãra’ . . . broke up and disappeared, all the elements and khandhas as well as every part and aspect of the citta were all free to conform to their own natural state. They were no longer enslaved or forced into service by anything. . . The disputes within the citta, which are far more numerous and disturbing than those externally in the world, all stopped at the moment the ‘court of justice’ was finally established within the heart” (90-91).

For Ajahn Kao the impetus before this moment of realization was feelings of metta rather than formal sitting or walking practice. It is described in terms of the citta as well, but not as removing defilements from the pure citta but instead having the citta in harmony with body and mind. The citta thus resides in a natural state, no longer enslaved by avijja like Ajahn Man recounted. Again this moment brings about external resonance as he feels the sky collapse.

The similarities of some of these accounts shows the consistency of the forest tradition as well as how life stories of the arahants are modeled after the life story of the Buddha and yet also localized and personalized for the individual and their context. The forest masters talk about their citta being in a purified and natural state as this is a central concept for the forest tradition. And like the Buddha many recount a reaction from the earth at this moment of realization so that the sky collapses or the world seems to shatter. These are ways of recounting that signal to the audience that this person has achieved liberation and give faith in this possibility in modern times.

Read Full Post »

Book Review: Mae Chee Kaew: Her Journey to Spiritual Awakening & Enlightenment

This biography of Mae Chee Kaew is another contribution to the life stories of forest tradition masters. Luangda Mahabua made this genre famous with his biography of Ajahn Mun and more recently, Ajahn Kao. Bhikkhu Silaratano (or Ajahn Dick) adds another biography as part of this genre but it is also something quite different. This is the story of a mae chii, who is considered to be an arahant. The fact that the biography is of a female is unique as we see the particular challenges she faces, and yet one is struck by how similar her meditative path is to the forest monks.

This book is a creative biography, as Ajahn Dick admits that the sources did not allow for a full life story told from Mae Chii Kaew’s perspective. Ajahn Dick was able to use his writing skills and imagination to fill in some of the details of country living and his knowledge of meditation practice is inserted when explaining Mae Chii Kaew’s experiences. Indeed the author inserts many passages explaining the life of a forest ordained person, and the meaning behind the daily schedule for his English-speaking audience.

This biography begins with Mae Chii Kaew’s birth and follows chronologically to her death, and the turning of her bones into relics as the final proof of her attainment. We learn of her abilities as a child to be in contact with those from the deva, animal, and hungry ghost realms of Buddhist cosmology. This ability carries through to her beginning and middle stages of meditation and becomes a large part of the book. As a child, Mae Chii Kaew meets the well-known forest master, Luangpu Man. He teaches her how to meditate but when he leaves on his wandering path he admonishes her not to meditate without a teacher. She agrees to stop meditating, although being unaware the reason that without a teacher the amazing capacities of her mind might cause her more trouble than realization if left on her own.

From a simple family in the countryside of the northeast, her family did not allow her to ordain as a mae chii so she was compelled to marry. She was unhappy with marriage and weary of the suffering of life. Unable to have children, one of her cousins gave her one of her children to raise. She pleaded with her husband to let her be ordained for one rains retreat and after head villagers’ intervention, he relented. But this taste of ordination was all Mae Chii Kaew needed to pursue a life-long path. Her husband remarried and her child had a new family as Mae Chii Kaew decided to pursue her quest for enlightenment began as a child under the tutelage of Ajahn Man. She reached a plateau in her meditation until meeting a student of her teacher, Luangda Maha Boowa. His stern council shifted her practice to the point where she was able to attain the highest dhamma.

The challenges of being a female renunciant are evident in this book. Mae Chii Kaew is unable to ordain as a teenager without her parents permission. Her father felt that if she ordained and then didn’t like it, no one would marry her. In this village life, marriage and children were part of the woman’s role, ordination was certainly atypical. Mae Chii Kaew was then under the control of her husband who also would not let her ordain. Finally with help from others she was allowed to and decided not to look back. After this she was free to practice, only needing a realized teacher to guide her. After she is able to remain ordained her meditative practice reads very much like one of the forest bhikkhus. Except for the fact that she is in a community of women who must offer to the monks and do much of the cleaning, she is able to meditate, wander to seek out teachers, and relay her experiences to others.

Although Mae Chii Kaew does not wander for long periods, only to visit teachers, her progression in meditation is similar to the biographies of forest monks. Her progression in meditation is detailed well in this book. It would be helpful to know about the meditation methods of Luangpu Man and Luangda Mahabua to understand her progress. Ajahn Dick does an excellent job explaining some difficult concepts, yet it is still hard to grasp fully if one is not familiar with forest meditation. But if one is familiar with forest dhamma, the meditative methods and techniques of repeating ‘buddho’ to enter into Samadhi, and contemplating the physical body will sound familiar. As well the stories of visions and visits from celestial deities and those from the animal realm are reminiscent of Luangpu Man’s biography especially.

As Mae Chii Kaew’s meditation progresses, we read how she turns her energy inward to investigate the nature of self rather than outward toward other realms of beings. She first identifies the falsity of forms, then thought, and is left with a supreme radiance. She needs Luangda Mahabua’s intervention again to tell her the next steps of breaking down the self. She investigates this radiance until it breaks open and she reaches the final goal. Like the Buddha and the descriptions of Mahabua after his attainment, Mae Chii Kaew contemplates her past lives and reflects on the impossibility of teaching others how to attain the same achievement. Yet quickly, like the Buddha, she realizes that if she attained liberation, others could too, that there are others in the world who are close and skilled practitioners. But after she is on the path she only visits Mahabua this one time. This shows again the independence of the forest tradition—one needs the teacher to point one in the right direction, not to discuss with them every point of meditation everyday.

This is a needed addition to the corpus of biographies of forest masters. Both forest biography authors, Luangda Mahabua and now Ajahn Dick contribute to our knowledge of the forest tradition through the always interesting medium of life stories. I hope that English-speaking audiences can continue to have more biographies of realized masters within this genre in the future.

Read Full Post »

Answers without Dogma: Buddhist Conversion Stories

With most conversion stories the main interest and most compelling questions is: why? Someone took a radical step, something that is atypical and unusual even in contemporary times to change their religious identity. There are many Buddhist conversion stories out there—some of these are located within Buddhist memoirs. Some memoirs discuss the idea of conversion openly and some hint at it, letting the reader piece together the why.

I recently saw the book Encounters With Buddhism edited by S. Dhammika in a bookstore in Bangkok and it was inevitable that I would buy it. This is what I study. But this book is the most open I have found about the ‘why’ of the conversion narrative. The editors’ purpose in collecting 14 personal essays seems to be so that the reader can understand the ‘why’ of converting to Buddhism. All the essays fit under a similar answer to the question of why: Buddhism provides answers without dogma. Even in the ‘Introduction,’ the author states that within Buddhism conversion occurs not out of faith or emotions but out of logical consistency and reasonableness in accord with known facts.

With all of the most recent discussion about whether Buddhism is a religion or not, it is refreshing to read these stories of people who make a positive claim to be a part of the religious identity of Buddhism exclusively. Scholar Trevor Ling writes in the ‘Preface’ features of these essayists who have become adherents to Buddhism. They are well-educated mostly in the humanities, became Buddhists in their 20s, which occurred within the 1970s. Ling suggests that the 1970s may have produced an attitude of encouragement toward experimentation with Eastern religions. Each of the essays here explain how the person changed their religious identity from being Christian, Muslim, agnostic, or no religion to taking on a Buddhist religious identity. Perhaps this was a phenomenon of the 1970s as many people interested in Buddhism and Buddhist meditation nowadays often do not identify as Buddhist or, instead make it a part of a hyphenated religious identity such as Jewish-Buddhist. But there is no uncertainty of religious identity in this collection—no Buddhists and another religion—these are people who were not born Buddhist and now self-identify proudly as part of the Buddhist religion.

In explanation of why they have taken on this identity one of the main themes, as stated, is that Buddhism offers answers. And these answers seem familiar and right to these authors. One of the essayists, Bhikkhu Amaro, writes that he did not become a Buddhist but discovered that he had always lived life in a Buddhist way. For him, Buddhist teachings cohered with what he had already thought about the world. Thus for him, from the beginning Buddhism made life make sense. John Ireland found from reading that he had always been a Buddhist because he could verify the Buddha’s teachings from his own experiences. As well, when Viqar Zaman learned about Buddhism he realized that he had always been a Buddhist in his thinking. He felt that he had already known about Buddhist teachings but had somehow forgotten.

In addition to verifying familiar answers, Buddhism also provides answers where Christianity does not. When many of these essayists asked in their childhood about the Christian religion they did not receive any satisfying answers. This is depicted in contrast to Buddhism. John Ireland finds that many aspects of Christianity do not make sense to him, such as miracles and the creation story. But when reading about Buddhism he immediately knew that this was the truth as it resonated with his own experiences. Christianity always seemed foreign to him but Buddhism was something natural. Dhammacharini Padmasuri writes that the concept of a personal God in Christianity did not make sense to her, and when she asked her teachers about this, she only received rationalizations, not answers. Thubten Chodron finds that her school teachers were also not able to answer her questions about why God created humans and what the purpose of life is. But in her experiences with the teachings of Tibetan teachers she found that those childhood questions were answered.

Buddhism also offers practical answers on how to live one’s life. Many essayists emphasize that Buddhism is a way of living, not a dogma or faith. In the first conversion story, Amadeo Sol-Leris describes how he became a Buddhist because he realized that Buddhism was very close to humanism, and was more inclined toward ethical discipline and mental training. He writes that Buddhism offers a sense of direction and possibilities, and a direct and pragmatic character of teaching. Bhikkhu Nyanasobhano finds that in Buddhism there is a rational explanation of why things work the way they do, why the world is the way it is. He was seeking a clear explanation of reality that was supported by reason and found this in Buddhism.

Thus these conversion stories portray people seeking answers, and they find the most appealing and satisfying answers in Buddhism. They tried to find answers about the purpose of life in their birth religions but were not convinced. When they somehow stumbled upon Buddhism, to many essayists, the religion seemed to mirror how they already conceived reality. For them Buddhism offers non-dogmatic answers that cohere with their experiences, and it provides a practical path for living.

Read Full Post »

Review: Razor-Wire Dharma by Calvin Malone

Prison Dharma has become an emerging topic within contemporary Buddhism, and many of the writings on the subject are memoirs from the prisoners themselves. This kind of memoir has become a sub-genre of the sub-genre of Buddhist memoir. The phenomenon started with Jarvis Masters’ Finding Freedom. This memoir has been taken note of by at least one member of the scholarly community in a great article in the Journal of Global Buddhism. Later another full-length memoir came out by Fleet Maull called Dharma in Hell. Subscribers to Buddhist magazines including Shambhala Sun, Tricycle, and the Buddhist Peace Fellowship’s Turning Wheel will have read a number of mini-memoirs within their pages. Inspired by the results of Goenka’s vipassana techniques in Indian prisons, there are now writings and a film about this program being used in American prisons, with the book Letters from the Dhamma Brothers and the film The Dhamma Brothers.

Calvin Malone’s book, Razor-Wire Dharma, which came out last year, is part of this new sub-genre. Like Jarvis Masters’ memoir, this book is broken up into short stories. Each story contains a lesson which deepens Malone’s understanding and practice of Buddhism. These stories are sometimes little more than two pages, and sometimes more developed, but almost all involve meeting another prisoner who adds to Malone’s perspective on Buddhism. The stories involve angry or otherwise difficult prisoners who become teachers to Malone in his practice, or a person in need of help who Malone reluctantly aids and learns from the experience. Also like Masters’ book, Malone emphasizes the idea of the bodhisattva. His practice is not only meditation, but clearly is directed toward helping others as he follows this new path, and allowing others to help him.

Unlike Masters’ work, however, Malone’s writing is sometimes unclear, and thus not as practiced. Moving to America in his youth from Germany, one can understand why this would be the case. But occasionally one is not sure the exact meaning of certain sentences. I am also unsure if this structure is the best choice for this kind of book. I understand that prison life is long and monotonous so would lend itself to short snippets of interactions and daily life, however, there is no arc to the story, so sometimes it can be repetitive. I think it would be best in this kind of memoir to start out with the author’s life story and then add in the short stories from prison life so the reader understands the basic outline.

But otherwise I have praise for this book as it captures prison life vividly. Malone discusses the triumphs and pitfalls of how to practice Buddhism in prison. He shows how meditation can help with pain, anger and depression. Malone uses the teachings he received from books and letters to and from teachers and has put this to use in a largely unfriendly environment. This book shows the ability of Buddhist teachers and teachings to connect with prisoners and prison life. Malone describes how when he first wrote to many Buddhist organizations for some resources, he thought that he would receive nothing in return for his effort. But because of the unexpected overwhelming response of packages of books and teachings from many organizations, Malone decided to try to understand this new religion and eventually became a Buddhist. He continues to write to these organizations and teachers for advice and fundraising and they continually help.

Malone’s memoir is another work that points to the trend of prison dharma as a significant part of the movement of socially engaged Buddhism, especially in America. He describes how he can connect Buddhist teachings with his daily life and how many Buddhist teachers have supported him. This memoir shows some of the results of socially engaged Buddhism in America. Malone has aided many prisoners who have come into his life in the name of being a Buddhist, and has helped many people to understand the Buddhist path as well.

Read Full Post »